I'm Sick

Published on March 9, 2004 By lilyethra In Misc

I'm almost 21 years old. I am female and a junior in college. Until recently I had a lovely GPA (3.4) until I failed chemistry when it droped to a 3. I have nonverbal learning disability, which is really annoying. I also have a double major in creative writing and neuoscience, a bunny, and a boyfriend I adore.

Lately I've been sick. In the past month I've been to the student health center almost half a dozen times, where they usually write out a prescription. I'm sick of pills. No one seems to know what the problem is or maybe they just don't care. But my stomach hurts all the time. I have a history of Acid Reflux and asthma complications but I'd been on prevacid for years and it worked just fine. Now all of a sudden it starts acting up again. My doctor gave me more medicine which helps, but my stomache still hurts. And I've been getting diarrhea and I'm tired all the time. This has not helped out with my classes.

I love physics. Absolutely adore it. I came to this univesity as a Engineering Physics major. Then I failed engineering physics. So I changed majors. I still need to take general physics. Last semester it was all I could do to barely pass phsyics 101 and now I am failing 102. If I do fail it then I violate my fininancial aid requirements and lose that. I rely completely on my financial aid and get no financial help from my family.

What really frustrates me though is that I sort of bring it on myself. Not being broke, or sick that is, but being in the situation of failing physics. I don't have to major in neuroscience. I'm actually quite close to recieving my creative writing degree, and I never get lower than a B in any of those classes. But I like neuroscience. I want to pediatric neurologist someday. I'm willing to take lighter course loads and longer to graduate, even if I have to petition 1000 deans to let me stay. I'll take out loans and so forth. I know it might not make sense as to why I so stubborningly cling on to all these classes that are so hard for me, but I can't bring myself to drop it. I'm afraid I would regret if forever if I did. My life doesn't have to make sense to anyone else but me. It would, however, be nice if it did.

At the moment I am trying to see if there is anyway I can afford to see a specialist and I'm trying to get caught up in my classes. I despertly want to do well, but sometimes it seems so out of reach. There are days when I can't quite believe that life is real. Perhaps I have read too many books. Sometimes I am still waiting for time stop-- I feel as though I could step through the wardrobe or into a mirror and and when I come back no time will have passed and I will be well again and have energy to deal with it all....

But it looks like for now I am stuck.

Comments

Sherye Hanson

on Mar 09, 2004

Why do you want to be a pediatric neurologist? You obviously don't have the ability to do it. I suspect your illness is due to your stubborn refusal to face the facts. Once you do that your illness will clean up and your grades improve. It is a myth that we can be whatever we set our minds to do. You can learn enough about neurology to write about it. You may be able to use your writing ability to communicate to others your interest in a way that doctors cannot.

If our minds do not accept the truth, then our bodies do it for us.

KarmaGirl

on Mar 09, 2004

I think that your stomach issues are from stress. Sounds like your plate is too full and you know it. Your mental health *will* have a toll on your physical health.

Since I have been in a situation like yours, and hind site is 20/20, I think I may have a bit of insight to help you.

1) uncomplicate your life. Sit down and see what you *need* to get done in a day and concentrate on it. If passing that class means letting another slip down to a "C" then do it. It's more important to pass that class than to have a high gpa.

2) neither your diploma will say nor will your employer ask what your gpa was when you graduated. relax and concentrate on passing versus getting the highest gpa.

3) make time to relax and regroup your thoughts each day. make a list of what you need to accomplish and stick to those goals.

4) eat healthy and get some exercise. college can take a toll on your health if you let it.

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