Today I went to the Y to excercise. I try to do this 2-3 times a week. I worked out on the machines, free weights, etc. Was there 1.5 hours. I weight myself on their scale. It told me I weight 282 pounds. My scale at home says I weigh 10 pounds less. Now in my experience my scale at home has been accurate before... but it could be off now. I am beginning to understand why people opt for such painful and risky procedures like gastic bypass. According to this scale I have managed to gain weight, now lose it. My fattest ever.
It was depressing. I need to find a reliable scale. of course I don't want to go to see the nutritionist because I feel guilty because I haven't necessarily lost weight. Real smart, huh. And lately when I look in the mirror I hate my body. I hate the way the flab has created its own flab sub species. I hate the weight I look fatter and my cute clothes no longer fit. I hate the way that for years I have promising to get back into that size 14 dress and have not done it.
I don't know... Latley I have been sleepy again to, tired. I was doing pretty well too. Maybe I should just stop worrying. I have a doctors apointment comming up. Not sure if I should mention weight gain. I would probably get another thyroid test- it was ok last time, but they like to check that. And then probably nothing. No one likes to talk about being fat to fat people other than mentioning that we have done well when we become less fat.