I want to be healthy. Most people would like to be healthy. I try to be healthy- I excercise regularily, I am on a diet, and I have way too many doctor's apointments. In the spirit of staying healthy I went to see my old allergist because I think it would be lovely to breath well again. So my allergist is looking up my old allergy test results (I can't afford to get retested). I also had a CAT Scan of my sinuses because of this chronic sinusitus stuff. It didn't reveal much, just a small polyup, but I am seeing an ENT anyway to make sure I don't need surgery or anything. Then after that I need to go see a gastroenterologist. My GERD needs better control and my doctor wants to make sure that is not responsible for my congestion. And then I am also seeing my Fibromyalgia doctor. This is all taking place in the course of one week, up in chicago. These doctors are supposed to be prefered providers, so hopefully I will have a chance at paying part of the bills.
It looks like I will need allergy shots. I would love to try allergy shots, but they are so expensive. My insurance does not cover the cost at all. So that means I would have to pay out of pocket all that money. I don't have that much money. But at the same time, its possible I have that polyup because of allergies. What if I get more and then need surgery- which will also be expensive. And I want to breath again!
So here I am, barely having slept, worrying about my allergies. And medical care and medical bills. I work and go to school- that is a full schedule. I do not have time or the energy for another part time job. And because of the interest rates and finance charges I am trying to pay what I can off of my credit card. I refuse to get anymore credit cards to pay for medical expenses. I can't afford it and besdies I wouldn't get a good credit limit or rates anyway.
So how in hell am I supposed to get healthy if I can't afford the things that might make me healthy. Right now I am on charity care for the medications that I cannot get at the student pharmacy- and they are ones that are essential to my well being. Maybe I can find some sort of free clinic or program to help me out with the cost of the shots- but I am not keeping my fingers crossed.
And then there are the medical bills that I will pay forever and forever. At least those are reasonable payments and the people work with me.
I am trying to find a pain clinic closer than Mayo- its time for someone to shove another large needle into my abdominal wall. And then I can build up a tab there. Between the student loans and the parking ticket bills (campus charges ridiculous amounts of money for parking) and the medical bills, I suspect that I may be burried in debt forever.
Right now I am going to try and do a few different things. I am going to try and worry about the GRE and dealing with the ETS people, which I have had some problems with. I am going to call all sorts of health care places about help paying for medical care. I am not to proud to ask for help, and I really do need help. I am going to focus on work and my lab and volunteer duties. I am going to clean my room (I may even mean it this time). And I am going to relax, though personally I find it ironic that worrying about the cost of health care is enough to make me feel worse.